i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
