When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
two words...techno handjob
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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