Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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