So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
