is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
