can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm sobbing to NWA
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize