saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
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