Kiss
Puke
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
