His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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