found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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