She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You're like the curious george of whores
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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