Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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