We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
