i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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