i barfeds in our rink
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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