no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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