White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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