i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
