i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
