Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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