I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
