ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
