ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
