Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I will pee on everything he values.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
