i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
