my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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