its not stalking. its research.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
