so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
