i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
