There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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