Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
