He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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