And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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