babies were throwing up all over the place
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
