last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
