My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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