a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
