doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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