Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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