Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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