Ambien. No doubt about it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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