i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
