my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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