Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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