I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
