I wish my penis had an off switch
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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