Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
