dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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