There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
