I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
