Is it because I queefed?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
