He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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