well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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