so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
