i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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