if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize