u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
