he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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