I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
