This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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