Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
