She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
