Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
is that a dick in a sweater?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
A bitchslap is in order.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
