U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize