So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
